Monday, March 24, 2014

CrossFit and Me

CrossFit has literally changed my life. I have always been active and went from playing high school sports to playing lacrosse in college to running marathons. After having a very rough pregnancy I was left feeling "soft", depressed,  and more out of shape then I could ever imagine. My mom signed me up for the basic skills CrossFit intro. at a local box and I am not going to lie... I hated it. I was exhausted, it was hard, I was weak, etc. The picture below is me at 37 weeks (days before Charlie was born, 6 weeks after about to run a 5k, 8 months after in my first CrossFit Open and one year after Charlie was born at a competition.
CrossFit is the first thing I have done where I can feel and see myself getting stronger and constantly want to be better. Yes, I have good and bad days, but overall if you work hard the weights will go up and the workouts become more prescribed... but that never means you are done improving. I find myself always wishing I had done one more rep, wanting to try the workout again just because I know I can get there... I love that feeling. It's you against you. CrossFit to me has become a lifestyle. I know that people call it a cult, but what is wrong with hanging out with people that have similar interests to you? The people I have met through CrossFit are like another family. We hang out after workouts, text throughout the day, post positive comments and pictures to each other on social media. They are just as excited for me when I do something great as I am and I am equally as excited to watch them do well. Almost everyone I have encountered is so supportive and I seriously workout with some of the most amazing, strong women I have ever met. 
I recently switched boxes and have already learned a lot from my new coach and owner. This box is a lot more competitive and sends individual athletes and teams to regionals every year. It is exactly where I want to be. I am not able to participate on their team this year, if I could even make the team, because of the box switch. It is upsetting but also makes me look forward to next year even more. I just need to improve a lot, stay motivated, and hope I still have this kind of family support to get through.... which leads me to my next thought....
It is incredibly hard to be a mom. Being that I am a working, single mom I have many guilt complexes and taking precious hours out of my day to workout and not be with my child is an internal battle. Do I even want to keep trying to compete at a higher level? Should I give up and sacrifice that desire to be a mom? Am I burdening my family by counting on them as I try to do it all? The answer to my questions is no... I think my daughter will be proud of me for not settling for mediocre and not allowing myself to give up on my goals. I want to set a good example for her and throwing in the towel because life got hard is not what I want her to see.

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