I think the biggest part of this problem seems to be that we keep pregnancy a secret in the first place. At any given moment, there are probably thousands of women suffering the loss of a pregnancy in silence. It's heartbreaking to think that they are grieving in private, trying to act normal in public, and move on without much support- and most likely the support of strangers found online in chats and groups instead of loved ones. I have cried numerous times re-reading posts and notes people sent to me in support about my own experience, people I hardly know sharing their stories, sending love and sharing stories of positive outcomes after a loss. So back to my original thought...why do we wait to share our happy news? Are we afraid people will find out we are pregnant and then we have to tell them we lost it if the worst happens? If I learned anything from my previous experience it is that you are not in control- sharing or not will not make a difference in the outcome of the success of a pregnancy. I may be alone, but if the worst happens again I want people to know. I want others to know they are not alone if it has happened to them. I want my friends to know that I am not ok and why. More importantly I want to announce early because I want people to know there is hope after a loss. That all these months spent grieving, seeing women with babies, everyone around me seemingly getting pregnant with no effort, baby things everywhere, my emptiness that most people don't understand, still existing has a happy ending after all. And if tragically something happens again I don't want to hide my pain. It is not a failure as a woman, nor an embarrassment that I need to hide. I want to share my pregnancy early because I am so happy there is a rainbow at the end of the storm.
Rainbow Baby Lamberti- Due October 1, 2017