Most people know that maternity leave in this country is completely pathetic and messed up... women are given 6-8 weeks off and usually it is not paid. Anyone who has had children knows that that's an incredibly short time in which to recover, bond with your baby, get a routine or have any type of sleep before returning to work. In my opinion, forcing women to choose between their job and their newborn is driving women out of the work force and putting them at a severe disadvantage to their male counterparts who don't have to juggle what inevitably mostly falls on the female. If a woman decides to stay home then if they return they have lost all of that time, experience, raises... if they choose to return they are now struggling with caring for another human at home and being as committed to their job. After 6-8 or even 12 weeks, not only are you healing from a major ordeal that is childbirth, but stereo-typically as you return to work you are often still the one taking on the brunt of the childcare when you are home let alone the laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. This is often referred to as the silent"mental load" women carry... trying to juggle in your brain everything for yourself, the house, the children, your job and delegating tasks and appointments to your partner who is not carrying all of that in their brain. Women have to make the choice, often before the baby is even born, or soon after when their hormones are all jacked up, whether taking time and a financial hit is worth the time at home with your child. I can't speak for other professions, but as a teacher you would think the job lends itself to being a parent. I am not going to lie, when I first considered changing my direction in college that was one of the things that drew me to the profession. I would be able to spend summers with my kids, have their same school schedule and breaks, etc. I also thought that trying to plan kids around summer would be ideal... that way you don't have to take time off from work. Being a teacher and taking time off is far worse than just going to work. You have to create plans for someone else to do your job and control 30+ kids that know a sub means they don't know the norms of the classroom. I have had a summer baby, a fall baby and a spring baby and have learned quite a bit about maternity leave as a teacher. Not as great as I thought for a profession centered around other people's children when it comes to having your own...
What I didn't know when I was in college is that the districts basically punish women who take time off to have children. We don't technically get a maternity leave, we get an approved FMLA which is 12 weeks, unpaid, off for having a baby. I am allowed to use my sick days, if I have them, for the first 6 weeks... unless you have a baby in the summer... which in that case if the baby is 6 weeks old and you are cleared medically which you usually are, then you are "baby bonding" and sick days cannot be applied to FMLA and the 12 weeks goes completely unpaid... BUT I am constantly told I still can take that time, wow, thanks, I get to choose whether time with my child is worth the $15,000+ pay cut for the year, I feel fortunate now. What makes all of this even better is that you still have to make your plans for your sub... even though you aren't getting paid!... and I was even asked to find my own sub. So on top of the stress of being pregnant, I was scrambling to write day-to-day lesson plans and find someone to replace me, which is not as easy as it sounds since we are already on a teacher shortage and subs don't get paid very well. If you do get to use your sick days, then returning to work I really hope your child doesn't get sick because you have no more days to use.
I have been told by parents to plan my baby around the school year. First of all, I know from having Mack the week after school got out that isn't great. I am going back to work sooner than if I had a child during the school year because of the lack of ability to use my sick days for time off. Classic example of having to choose between money and time with my infant. Also, timing a pregnancy is great in theory, but the majority of people don't get pregnant when they want. Not to mention I have lost babies during pregnancy so I know full-well things don't always go according to plan. I have also had teacher friends been told by parents that teachers shouldn't have kids during the school year... I am sorry, I must have forgotten that teaching your child is more important than having my own.I could obviously say more, don't even get me started on the pressure for women to breastfeed on top of work and everything else, but my rant is over for now. Hopefully by the time my daughters have children the United States has started to value women as working mothers, in the mean time you will find me, and most working women, burning the candle at both ends trying to do and be it all.
