As school started, we got back into the hustle and bustle of life and three weeks after I went to work we brought a new bundle of joy home. So here I am again, a stay-at-home mom to an infant and a kindergartner. As I sit up at night feeding Mila I have some time to reflect. Looking back on my time with Charlie this summer, I realized I learned so much from my independent, smart, 5-year-old. Things I wanted to take into my future as a mother of two now, especially after I will be coming home stressed from work and exhausted from having an infant in the near future.
Right now I have to drive 30 minutes+ each way, twice a day, to take Charlie to school because I am home on maternity leave and I school-of-choice her to the district where I work. If we leave even a few minutes late we are stuck in horrendous traffic. I have an one month old baby screaming at me, usually, and there we are, stop-and-go all the way to school sometimes taking over an hour one way.
I think one of the most frustrating things I have experienced as a parent is trying to get out the door in the morning. Between getting Charlie out of bed at 5:45am to breakfast, getting dressed, hair done, and putting shoes on, while also getting a baby nursed and into the car, when I am exhausted from no sleep at night is a lot. My oldest child, like many others, has absolutely no hustle, literally none. I feel like we are always running late to get to work/school and being late is a pet peeve. I end up raising my voice and losing my temper trying to motivate her to get moving and once we are finally in the car I feel bad about how we left the house.
My ah-ha moment started when we were heading to school. On this particular day we were stuck in awful traffic, we were actually going to be late to school, and she made the comment I make so many times, 'I wish we lived in Rochester,' which is where her school is. I turned around and snapped at her that I wish we did too but we can't move right now, blah blah blah and the look on her face broke my heart. Her eyes got big as she was startled at the volume and tone of my voice and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. That's when it hit me, I am blaming a child for us running late when I won't see her all day, and she likes being with me on the drive and innocently wants be a part of a conversation. I apologized and told her I loved her and she of course forgave me, but that was the moment I realized our joyous summer was taking a bad turn and I need to take a step back and appreciate my little girl and what she is innocently teaching me...
The more she grows the more I appreciate what a wonderful, smart, funny, loving child she is. Thank you for teaching me what's important in life my Charlie-girl.