I know in writing this the backlash that might come just by reading the title. I know that some people are completely against formula and will disagree with me for my honesty, but someone has to say it... IT IS OK TO NOT BREASTFEED- or honestly to stop whenever you want. A fed and loved baby is most important whether it is formula or breastmilk. I completely understand that science behind "breast is best" and we were designed to nurse our children, but the thought that it is the only and correct option is not alright. Take away the women who struggle to produce enough, the couples who adopt, etc. there is still a group of women who could nurse and choose not to. I am one of them and I feel to shame in saying it.After my frozen milk supply is gone, it is ok that my child will be on formula. What is not okay is judging other women for their choice to not nurse for whatever amount, or lack of amount of time. Formula feeding my baby is not going to limit her potential to be a successful and healthy human. I do not feel I need to further explain my decision to stop or why I "can't just do it for 12 months" and will ignore any evil eyes I get for pulling a bottle of formula from my diaper bag. It's my body and my baby and my decision.
Before Mila was born I made the decision to try and breastfeed again despite how poorly it went with Charlie 5 years prior. My goal was that if it went well I would continue until she was 6 months old- 3 months when I was at home, and 3 months when I returned to work. Why 6 months? Mainly because babies start eating more solid foods by then, making breast milk slightly less necessary, and because if we want to try for another baby possibly before she is one, I need a break. I need a break from being pregnant and nursing where my body is mine.
To understand my decision, here's some background- with Charlie I hardly made it 6 weeks nursing- I hated it. I openly still hate it. One of the most natural things for a woman was not and is not natural to me- I don't like the feeling or the act of nursing. All of the breastfeeding selfies honestly made me not even want to do it at all this time around because I was grossed out. So why try again? Because I know it is best for baby, it's free, I wanted to give my new baby the best start possible, especially being born in flu season, and mainly because I am stubborn. I am sure all of you have noticed a huge push to "normalize breastfeeding" and make sure everyone and their mom knows that it is best for baby and that you are going to breastfeed wherever you want and whenever you want and take pictures of it and display that on social media. I feel like I was pressured into breastfeeding the first time as members of my extended family criticized, in front of me, those that quit or didn't nurse. This pressure leads to guilt that you are failing or not as good of a mom if it is not going well, you're not producing enough, etc. and therefore have to supplement or choose to stop. The moment I switched to formula with Charlie was the moment she stopped crying every night for hours. In my head I had to continue to breastfeed, but in reality I was starving my child. She was most likely crying because she was hungry and as a new mom I had no idea what I was doing and didn't know that sometimes they cluster feed at night, and what hunger cues are. I have several women in my mom-group that have acknowledged the same- they had no idea they were not providing enough for their crying child and chalked it up to colic. Stopping nursing with her was one of the best things I did for our relationship and my mental and physical well-being. I feel that we should definitely support those that want to breastfeed, but I also think there is no shame in those that don't and they also need support, not shaming.
